TWIST
...there's never enough time.
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
The Snow Fall
I know this much is true. Every time you think its love, it’s not. The line between love and lust is so fine that to be able to say “I love” that person takes years. But those years, they can’t be spent in the presence of the one you love. Real love is something that cannot be felt. It doesn’t make your toes curl or your fingers tingle. It doesn’t knot up your stomach and leave you breathless. That’s lust. At first it’s lust for the physical touching, but it never moves much past that. Craving their presence, needing to smell their skin, to lie naked under cold sheets, waiting breathlessly for them to get to your house. Missing them when they’re gone… it ain’t love. Love is only a word, like lust, like all of these… Love, I have finally come to understand, is something that’s not felt by your body. In fact it has nothing to do with the physical person you’re with, but rather, their mind, the subconscious connection that can only be formed once you’ve lived through the lust. To arrive at a connection this deep can only be made by giving up all hope. You have to realize that you’re never going to see this person again, you will never share another moment under the blankets, or across from one another at The Olive Garden. The endless mindless hours of movies, of TV, mix CD’s in the car, all of that will never happen again. In order to live with someone for the rest of your life, you have to figure out how to live with out them. Nothing is permanent. All great loves will one day have to part and if you don’t understand that, then you can never complete the circle with that person, it will be broken at the weakest point. The same location every other lust goes askew. That bullshit cliché sentence that everyone from DMX to your mother knows “if you love something, let it go…” is true. I hate myself for admitting this, but it’s true. The love that forms is slow love, real love, love that has nothing to do with the word, or what they show you on TV. It’s a calm blanket over one’s mind. An understanding that only the authors know, being able to squint your eyes just right to see the syntax in between the lines. In other words, not having to say or do a damn thing. No need for explanations, because there is no way to form the words to explain. What exists is beyond words. Our entire perception of everything around us is controlled and limited by words. They’re only patterns of sounds we recognize. You hear the word “love” and you make think of roses and wine. Problem is you’re stuck limiting yourself to the understanding of words. In fact, roses and wine have nothing to do with loving someone. That’s “lust.” The acts, the physical portion of what I’m talking about, is all lust. Love and Lust go hand in hand. For every human being on this planet there are actually two. You. Your physical body, your ass sittin’ in front of this computer, and then there’s you. Whatever you are inside your mind, the never-ending vastness of your conscious and subconscious. You have your body, and your thoughts. Two parts. Two words. Love, Lust. The line is the finest in the history of evolutionary emotions. Confusion of the two leads to doom. The understanding between the two is only achieved through time, which means doing and saying nothing. Allowing life to move around you and not through you. Every moment something is happening otherwise you’d be dead. And every moment has two outcomes, it either happens, or it doesn’t. Leaning your mind towards one of the two will falter your path. You have to stay humble and allow the outcomes to move past on either side of you. The truth that is hidden behind “love” stands with you at the other end of your path. From where you stand, in between every moment’s outcome, is where your mind opens up and the understanding of “why” is finally achieved. Why all the shit ‘n’ piss that ended things in the first place happened. Why you’ve gone in the direction you have. You begin to understand all the choices you’ve made and even the ones you haven’t gotten to yet. You feel that tranquilizing calm of what is behind the word “love,” and for some reason everything… makes… sense. Lust is there to bite you in the ass; Love is there to mop up the blood. TRINITY
Maybe we did something wrong.
NEO
Or didn't do something.
MORPHEUS
No, what happened happened and couldn't have happened any other way.
NEO
How do you know?
MORPHEUS
We are still alive.
(from reloaded)
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