TWIST
...there's never enough time.
Wednesday, October 25, 2000
All For the Maple Leafs
[The stage is set up to look like a resturant. Nothing special. There is a couple, center stage, enjoying a meal. A waiter is walking from table to table, but no one is seat at the other tables. The lights are dim, but they come up onto the table, center stage.]DAN
I had a really fun time.BETH
Yeah...me too. The movie was great. I love Woody Allen.DAN
I was surprised that you had never seen Annie Hall before...(under his breath)freak.BETH
(thrown off)I-I-I’m sorry?DAN
(smiles)Nothing, nothing. So did you like the movie?BETH
...yes. I thought it was one of his best.DAN
(under his breath)Well...duuuuhhh.(a loud)So how’s the salad?BETH
Oh it’s great. I love this dressing.DAN
Ya know Beth, I really really like you. I think you’re great. And you’re really really foxy.BETH
(trys to laugh playfully at “foxy” but ends up snorting)-Thanks.DAN
So what are you doing next weekend?(quickly brushes his left hand across his nose)BETH
Well, I have to go to Boston on Friday, but I’ll be back in town Saturday evening. As of right now, I’m not doing anything -but I might pick up a guy in Boston.(laughs which quickly fades into a giggle and then a sigh)
So...DAN
So...BETH
So how did you like the movie?DAN
-Look Beth, I’m just going to come right out and say this. Just so it’s right out there, out there, out there, on the table, in the open, there in front of us, on the table, the table...I’m a junky. Yup that’s right. A junky. A crackhead, a smacknoser, a tracker, a snortsnuffer -whatever. In fact, I love coke. I love it so much, it always comes inbetween me and my potential girlfriends. Granted, I’m just always on the rebound, because I monthly break up with my whore bitch of a girlfriend -Deborah. And she knows, it’s always crack -then her.[BETH just sits there. With her mouth open.]DAN (cont’d)
Always. Crank, girl. Never girl Crank. Well in the winter it’s The Maple Leafs, crank, girl -no wait, crank, maple leafs, then girl. YES!BETH
Are you nuts.DAN
Nope, just a cranker faced coke junky. Now, with that out of the way -it makes this a lot easier...I need 250 dollars. Are you good for it?BETH
Excuse me!?DAN
It’s only 250 dollars. I’ve been up for 4 days and durning the movie I started to come down. I need the money. But don’t expect it back. I’m never good at that whole paying people back thing. -In fact, I never do.[BETH begins to get up.]DAN (cont’d)
No, stay a while. We can talk about something else, not my cake habbit -I mean crack. CAKE!BETH
I’m sorry Dan, I’ve got to get going. Thanks for dinner.DAN
No, stay a while. Come on baby. FOXY!
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